So this isn’t the inspirational meme you might expect. Nope, but that’s because from the outset there’s very little inspiration to be taken from miscarriage.
It robs you of your hope. It breaks your heart. It causes untold combinations of physical, emotional, mental pain, and no matter what avenue of miscarriage handling you choose, it hurts.
If you’ve had a miscarriage, you already know this. If you haven’t, this isn’t to scare you or make you feel even more down than you do. It’s actually to validate that you’re allowed to feel like crap. You’re allowed to be angry, frustrated, upset and confused. You can cry, you can scream, you can curl up, you can sleep. Do whatever makes YOU feel better, because it’s YOU who needs to get through it.
I’ve unfortunately gone through four miscarriages in the past 2 years and they don’t get easier.
There’s a slight sterile logic in knowing what you should expect, so that things aren’t as much of a shock, yes, I’ll give you that. I know what vitamins I need and when, what teas and herbs to take at what stage, what painkillers to stock up on, what to pack in my stand-by hospital bag for any planned or unexpected hospital trip. Yes, I can be more organised. But congratulating myself on being organised for a miscarriage is a pretty bloody depressing state of affairs to be in! And once the miscarriage starts, no previous experience can prepare me for the fresh onslaught.
Miscarriage sucks. Feel whatever you need to feel to get through it. Scream into a pillow, have a shot of whisky, eat comfort food and curl up watching junk TV. No matter how wonderful your significant other or family & friends are, it’s your body & hormones & heart that has to get dragged through it. Time will heal, like with everything, but it will always leave a mark with you. And it will always leave you with that little ounce of calculated doubt the next time you get pregnant.
As I say, miscarriage sucks.